Chuck & Clark, the People's Champions
Welcome back to my blog! This time, I wanna go over a bit of history of how I started making VS profiles. The first completed feat and ability list I made was for these two schmucks on a Google Doc. I put off making a blog on them for a while since one of my earliest ones researches a duo. Even though this one's coming out right after the blog focusing on the Lackadaisy trio, I thought it was finally time to make a blog on these two. Boy do I REALLY wanna talk about them. I'm not exaggerating that this series rivals Axe Cop and Dr. McNinja in terms of sheer tomfuckery on display. While I don't think I need to give a spoiler warning for the plot, a lot of the images provided will spoil lots of great jokes, so I'd highly recommend checking out the series itself before reading this if you don't want those spoiled. If not, buckle up, cuz you're in for a wild ride.
Background
"Well Chuck, I must admit. You are a good winner."
"And one day, you might be a good loser, Clark."
Welcome to Planet C, where everyone's name starts with the letter C. From talking coconut lifeguards to reptilian emperors, it's home to the wackiest people you will ever meet. While the candy landscapes and cozy forests may look beautiful, the world is ruled by the Carnage Empire with an iron fist. Led by the cruel Emperor Chidan, he seeks to enslave the entire global population with the help of his many enforcers. When all hope seemed lost, one man stood up to the wretched empire. He's bald, he's handsome, his left arm is disproportionately smaller than his right arm, HE'S…………
Chuck.
Chuck is… a lot of things. He's an esteemed gentleman, a hardened lumberjack, a loving father AND mother, the list goes on. Nothing about Chuck makes sense. One minute he's walking on a tightrope to fulfill his dreams of joining a circus, then the next thing you know he's punting one of his companions into the sky for mildly annoying him. He's an absurdly nonsensical man who confuses his opponents into submission with powers so random that he might as well just be making them up on the fly. And that's because he is. That's the basis behind the CC Techniques, the fighting style universally used across Planet C. He may be loony and weird, but one thing always remains consistent: he's a freedom fighter. Chuck desires a peaceful world where everyone is free from Emperor Chidan's clutches. He'll stand up for the little guys when no one else will.
Thus, he sets off on a quest to defeat all of Emperor Chidan's commanders before reaching the big bad himself. Along the way he fights a bunch of bizarre characters who fight with their own sets of absurd powers. Sometimes they even join him on his quest after a silly fight. Out of all his companions he's gained on his journey, he's grown the closest with a cobra named Clark.
Before joining Chuck on his journey, he's been creating clones of a guy named Chad to make the perfect Chad, and has become the boss of all the clones he's raised. After being beat by Chuck, he's been tagging along with him ever since. While Chuck is usually the more honorable one (with MANY glaring exceptions), Clark is very self-centered and competitive. He often contests with Chuck, but even more so participates in all the random and bizarre gags Chuck spontaneously performs.
Chuck and Clark's relationship flips on the toss of a hat. One moment Chuck is using Clark as a golf club against his will, then immediately after they act like they're overly sophisticated comrades. Regardless of the sorts of weird gags they rope their opponents into, both repeatedly show a sense of genuine friendship.
On their journey they face many strange foes and gain equally weird allies. From a mercenary chocolate bar to a living cheeseburger, their journey is full of all sorts of wacky mayhem. While the series has been on hiatus for a few years now, their quest is nearly done. There's only one more central commander the duo have to face before they clash with Emperor Chidan in an epic finale. Only time will tell when the story will ever conclude.
Equipment
Chuck
Body Armor
Chuck dons a large set of futuristic armor that accommodates for his (mostly) muscular proportions. A simple punch to the chest will likely do more harm to the puncher than Chuck himself. His chest contains various tools, items, and summons that he uses in combat. These include:
Wagon
First thing you should know about Chuck and Clark is that they do… pretty much whatever the fuck they want. There's a lot of items and weapons they spawn out of thin air to use in whateevr arbitrary way they'd like. Case in point, an oddly fast wagon.
Hockey Gear
Chuck can put on ice skates, hockey player getup, and wield a hockey stick
Sword
Such a dashing knight…
Maidmobile
A maid isn't complete without their maidmobile… wait, that isn't a thing? Wh-
Bat
Hey, you're supposed to use that for baseball! Dang hooligans…
Scrubbing it on a shadow somehow hurts the shadow
AK-47
If he can't drive a shadow out of a wall, then maybe a big fucking gun can do the trick
When acting like a proper gentleman, he can trick his opponent into joining him for a cup of tea… only for them to learn it's made of lizard legs
Camera
Donning a tourist getup, he can snap some flash photography to blind his opponent
Boxing Glove Frying Pan
He'll use this frying pan… as a boxing pan! Wait, that didn't come out right…
Grimy Old Broccoli
Used as the first challenge in Chuck's Super Deluxe Spinny Table of Food Challenges Extreme, he forces the challenger to eat old broccoli he found in the back of the fridge. If one eats it, they cough up blood
Crayon Box
Somehow leads to the same results as the broccoli
One-Man Band
It's interesting learning about people building unique contraptions to play multiple instruments at the same time
Bow and Arrow
Huh, I'm surprised that THIS is the first blog where I bring up a bow as a weapon
Book
Chuck has a book that taught him how to stop the Chameleon Czar from slashing at him. How, you may ask? By hitting him in the face with a frying pan.
When Clark and Chuck tap their rings together, they fuse into Cazerrus. More on him later. Chuck originally bore two rings, but gave one to Clark.
Diggy hole
Fruits beware, as Chuck has the right tool to consume their juices
Chuck can conjure a giant cruise ship, which can turn into a functioning spaceship mounted with laser cannons
Given the wacky stuff Chuck is capable of, I'm surprised he'd even need an astronaut suit
Turkey
Gobble up
Carriage
It's pulled by a bull man Chuck conjured
Clothesline of Fish
It parodies Mercenary Chocolate Bar's CC Technique: Clothesline of the Damned, a move where he reveals a clothesline with the corpses of his previous foes hanging from it. He charges up to absorb their power to become stronger. Chuck's clothesline instead has a bunch of fish hanging from it, which he uses to turn into a pack of fish.
Chuck's Amazing Hyper Cannon of Doom
A giga cannon that looks threatening, but actually doesn't work. Its purpose is to be a distraction so Chuck can surprise them with a sucker punch
Baseball Bat
He ain't striking out with that
Pizza
I guess it can be used as payment
Butterfly Net
He doesn't use it for its intended purpose
Tennis Racket
Chuck is certainly versatile when it comes to sports
Car
It's incredibly jarring seeing Chuck use a conventional mode of transportation. You'll see why later.
Axe
Chuck's really showing off his lumberjack skills
Cheese
For some reason, everyone on Planet C is lactose intolerant, so it's surprisingly useful to have lots of cheese stashed in one's chest
Talisman
After the bounty hunter-turned ally Mercenary Chocolate Bar parted ways with Chuck, he gave him a talisman to call him when he needs him. Choco is a talented practitioner of the same fighting style Chuck performs who honestly deserves his own blog.
Snow Shovel
He's quite practical with it, having used it to build an igloo
Drums
Drums are a fitting instrument for him, not gonna lie. They match his chaotic nature
Bagged Milk
Milk is packaged in bags instead of cartons in Canada because pouches can vary in portion size and it wastes less milk. Interesting.
Rocket Feet
Chuck has thrusters on the bottoms of his feet that let him fly
Pickaxe
I guess being a miner automatically makes you southern
Chair
He can use it for sitting… ooor whack someone over the head with it
Shotgun
He's, rootin, he's tootin, and by god he's shootin
Barrel
Please tell me he's clothed under that…
Clark
Megaphone
Like Chuck, Clark can pull out whatever he wants. Like this here megaphone. Caps lock moment.
Fangs
As a cobra, he has some mighty sharp fangs.
Spiked Club
Clark can easily wield weapons with his tail, like this club
Exactly the same function as Chuck's
AK-47
There's gonna be a lot of repeats here, won't there?
If something exploded for no reason, blame the explosive bomb weeds
Wait Clark, you're a reptile, wtf-
Tourist Bus
It isn't really confirmed if this belongs to Chuck or Clark. Since Clark's the first to speak up upon exiting the bus dressed as a tourist, so I'll just say it's his
Out to snap pics of magnificent sights, like freakish chameleon men
Bow and Arrow
Here we go again
Fusion Ring
Already mentioned that he has a fusion ring too
A swanky bike with a cozy compartment for Clark to chill on as his best underling Chad 12 drives
Scoop scoop
I'm running out of funny taglines for these. Um… smash?
Clark can open his neck to reveal a cannon wait, is he a cyborg too? It doesn't come with ammo, but he can launch small enough beings out of it, like his innocent teammate Carl (who actually predates Clark as Chuck's first teammate)
Tennis Racket
He's gonna serve up the heat
Cleaver
Prepare for your meat to be sliced
Flyers
Tossing enough flyers at this rapid succession should lead to some nasty papercute
Axe
Timber!
Guitar
The guitar suits his love of attention
Pickaxe
Minecraft.
And he's dressed for the holiday to boot
We barely get a glimpse of it, but he has one
Revolver
I don't think his hat matches the rest of the cowboys pictured
Barrel
He sure is barrel rolling
Mouth Cannon
Some sort of gun can come from his mouth. It's unknown what projectiles it holds
Pirate Boat
A mini pirate ship big enough to hold three people
Abilities
Chuck
Disguise Mastery
Chuck frequently puts on random disguises. Whether it's to fool his opponents into thinking he's someone else or just roleplaying as a persona befitting of whatever disguise he wears, the absurdity cranks up to 100 whenever he puts on a totally different outfit. He can seemingly change clothes instantly.
Reality Warping
On Planet C, everyone fights with CC Techniques. CC Techniques are essentially weaponized imagination. Anything Chuck can think of, he can will onto the battlefield. Since the inner machinations of Chuck's mind are a complete anomaly, the possibilities of his CC Techniques are endless. Chuck NEVER uses the same CC Technique twice, and if he did, the second technique would have a slight comedic twist to it. Chuck can completely alter whatever area he's in, summon whatever he wants to help him in battle, the list goes on.
Summons
Non-Physical Interaction
With his sponge and AK, he can hurt shadows
Transformation
Teleportation
Chuck can inexplicably be in one place before appearing in a completely different area
Small Size (Type 2)
He can alter his height at will, though he hasn't been shown to grow taller than his normal height.
Damage Reduction
Chuck can just say no to damage whenever he feels like it.
Stone Mimicry
He can turn his body into stone because why the fuck not??
Physics/Gravity Manipulation
Chuck can just say no to the laws of physics
Electricity Manipulation and Absorption
Chuck builds up a resistance to electricity over time because he absorbs each shock into a compartment inside his chest wait, does that mean he's a cyborg??? When it's at 100%, he fires the electricity back at his opponent
Regeneration (High-Mid)
Even after he's completely blown to smithereens, but he'll be perfectly fine seconds later as if nothing happened
Resistances
- Law manipulation and body manipulation resistance (he fought Commander Coconut, who conjured a giant ruleboard that forced Chuck and Clark to instantly perform any rule he writes. It seemed effective at first, as being forced to bow was too much for Chuck to handle and he exploded, but that was a dupe. Coconut had no chance, as Chuck NEVER follows the rules)
- Lactose intolerance resistance (everyone on Planet C is lactose intolerant, which brings up the question of why cheese exists there to begin with. However, Chuck built up a resistance to it. It still makes his insides feel funny, but he can't get enough of the cheesy goodness)
- Mind manipulation and forced transformation resistance (Chuck's opponents may be able to transform or manipulate his mind against his will, but is immediately able to turn the tables by using their powers against them. Usually in the form of making up a CC Technique based on what they did to him and use it in opposition to them)
Invisible Bullets
Either that or Choco's really dedicated to this bit
Day-Night Cycle Manipulation
During a fight while the sun was out, Chuck and Clark for a moment turned day to night to set the mood
Text Manipulation
Chuck can manifest giant words when he shouts
Curse Removal
Chuck has broken curses that could only be lifted by the one that inflicted them. Even when it reaches a point where the curse is impossible to be removed—such as a petrified person being shattered—Chuck can return them back to their usual self with a riveting dance. Chuck is known for bypassing others' abilities just because he can, so it makes sense.
Weather Manipulation
Chuck can surround his area in a rainstorm
Life Bestowal
Chuck can make inanimate objects come to life
Laser Projection
He can shoot a laser out of his mouth after turning into a robot
Energy Manipulation
He can power up like a saiyan
Fire Manipulation
Sure, I guess he can breathe fire too
Transmutation
Chuck can beat people so hard that their shape is morphed into something else
Explosion Manipulation
He can cause explosions without rhyme or reason
Soul Manipulation
When a soul bomb made of all of souls of the cheese dimension's residents, he manipulated the souls to avoid his spot on impact
Fireworks Manipulation
What a pretty light show!
Resurrection
He was implied to have resurrected Clark after his ghost left his body
Clark
Disguises
Like Chuck, Clark has a myriad of disguises to put on. He uses them the same way Chuck does
Reality Warping
Clark is a CC Technique master as well, having created techniques that rival Chuck's
Summons
Clark has his own set of summons too
Transformations
Clark also has his own transformations:
Transmutation
One time, Clark temporarily changed a chameleon's physiology into that of a statue's. He also joined Chuck in beating the commander-turned ally Cheeseburgerman into a cheese dog… and then into a hun
Non-Physical Interaction
Fourth time's the charm?
Teleportation
In terms of Chuck's main gang, there's a lot of overlap in abilities-
Small Size (Type 2)
Like this
Fourth Wall Awareness
While he doesn't have any seriously meta abilities, he is aware that he exists in a webcomic
Stone Mimicry
Sure, Clark can do it too. Even if Clark is shattered, he can easily piece himself back together
Physics/Gravity Manipulation
Nothing makes sense anymore
Regeneration (High-Mid)
Even after he's blown apart, he can regenerate from the damage with ease
Radish Projection
What the fuck?
Day-Night Cycle Manipulation
Clark had a hand in this too
Weather Manipulation
Life Bestowal
Clark can also bring objects to life
Soul Manipulation
Clark absolutely had a part in that feat too
Fireworks Manipulation
The blue C has gotta mean Clark can do this too
Explosion Manipulation
Random explosions are also a part of his talents
Shadow Manipulation
He can create freaky silhouettes as he jams out
Laser Projection
He's-a firin' his lazah!!!!
Resistances
CC Technique: Spraying Water and Saying NO!!!
Super effective against dogs, he takes out a spray bottle from nowhere to spray at disobedient mutts. This is somehow powerful enough to K.O. his target
CC Technique: Magical Cup Swap
In a fight with Emperor Chidan's goons, he threw a bunch of bombs at Chuck, which he promptly hid under one of three cups. After swapping all three, he asked the goon to choose which cup has a prize. The cup that actually has the prize—a tub of pudding—shouts at him if the goon tries to pick him. The other two cups contain the bombs, which have mysteriously increased in total before blowing up in his face.
CC Technique: Proud to Win the Bronze Medal
CC Technique: Chad-Mauling Felines of Death
Chuck summons a bunch of cats specifically engineered to scare away Chads
CC Technique: Ultimate Sportsmanship
Because Clark expressed such awful sportsmanship, Chuck ended the fight by stuffing a trophy in his mouth to prevent him from breathing fire, defeating him.
CC Technique: Here's My Bags
When Chuck and his gang entered a hotel disguised as a family on vacation, Chuck realized that the clerk was one of the chameleons that took over Clark's western front. After figuring that out, Chuck smacked him across the face with his luggage
CC Technique: Surprise Ravenous Lions
Look out for the lions, broh
CC Technique: Ninja Star Barrage
Chuck summons ninjas to shoot shuriken at foes
CC Technique: Nail Filing
Have a nasty foe charing at you with freakishly long nails? Just file them down until they're nothing!
CC Technique: Bullet Barrage
This just keeps getting harder and harder to make sense of any of these…
Super Secret CC Technique: Spring Thing Can Fling
Disguised as Crazy the Chameleon's mom, he lures the dazed chameleon to him while wearing a mom disguise before hitting him in the head with a frying pan. Finishing the job, the pan fires a spring-loaded boxing glove right at their face
CC Technique: Ramming Head On
Chuck turns into a small ram and tries to headbutt his opponent
CC Technique: Surprise Briefcase Attack
Disguised as a businessman on his way to work, he drops the getup to slam his opponent through the head with his briefcase, which actually has a chain attached to it. This lets him swing his opponent 'round and 'round before launching them
CC Technique: Really Big Fan
In order to blow away a huge cloud of fog, Chuck summons a giant sumo wrestler with a fan on his belly, that wields fans with mouths with his toes. The combined winds by all three fans is enough to blow away all the fog in the area.
What the fuck am I even talking about?
CC Technique: A Friendly Pat on the Back
This was supposed to be an attack, but it seems more like a friendly gesture than anything.
CC Technique: Balancing Act of the Circus
After Commander Coconut tossed a giant beachball his way with CC Technique: Giant Beach Ball of Rules, Chuck turned his attack into his own by balancing on it. He then warps the area into a circus tent where he balances on the ball to cross a tightrope. If he crosses, he gets to join the circus. Too bad that doesn't happen and he falls. Right before he hits the ground, the circus tent disappears and he elbows his opponent into the ground, crying out that it's not fair.
CC Technique: Chilling Out with a Refreshing Beverage
Chuck sticks a straw into Commander Coconut and sips his juices, before tossing him away, disgusted
CC Technique: Learn to Bend the Rules a Little
After learning that Commander Coconut is enforcing strict and prohibitive rules on the beach for everyone's safety, Chuck tries to drill some sense into him
CC Technique: Crusade of the Wiggling Followers
Chuck summons a bunch of people to perform a dance called the Wiggly (with Clark joining in too, of course). Their synced rhythm is so intense that it damages Chuck's target
CC Technique: Zippity Zap Zap
After being shocked by enough electricity, a mechanical box inside his chest reaches 100% capacity before firing the electricity back at them
CC Technique: Pylons of Protection
He summons five pylons to join his team in a volleyball game
CC Technique: Supa Dupa Lupa
SUPLEX!
CC Technique: Peace is a Peaceful Thing
Sure Chuck, blasting someone with your ship's lasers is totally a peaceful thing
CC Technique: Puked From the Beast and Into the Feast
Aside from the turkey fist, the name comes from Chuck performing this after a sea monster spat him out
CC Technique: Respectful Finish Offer of Goodness
Chuck finishes his fight with Commander Coconut after he gained his respect for listening to the input of the beachgoers
CC Technique: Did Doing the Done Didding
Chuck and Clark mourn the death of a fish, which Choco then adds to his clothesline to empower him. Suddenly, Chuck pops out of the fish, telling him that he's done did it, and starts slapping him
CC Technique: Homerun Star
Donning a baseball uniform and a bat, he performs consecutive homeruns with any projectile coming his way
CC Technique: Mid-Landin' Foot Slammin'
After being hit into the air by Clark, Chuck turns it into an attack by causing a shockwave when he lands
CC Technique: AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN
Chuck repeatedly shouts "AGAIN!" attacking people with giant words
CC Technique: Giant Butterfly Net
I'd just be repeating myself at this point
CC Technique: Duct Tape Fixes Absolutely Everything
Flex Tape it is not
CC Technique: Very Riveting Dance
A dance learned from Choco to not only piece Clark back together after he was shattered, but also relieving him of the Heartbreak Curse
CC Technique: Master of Tennis
Initiated by Chuck, it transforms the area into a tennis field and he and his allies gain tennis uniforms and rackets. They then hit loads of tennis balls at their target
CC Technique: Fly Me to the Moon
Chuck turned a giant platform he and his allies were on into a winged spaceship that flew into the sun
CC Technique: Finishing Another 12 Holes
Chuck & his friends were forced to finish fifteen mini golf courses. After they finished three, Chuck grew bored and performed a CC Technique that somehow completed the remaining courses
CC Technique: Windmill of Assemblation
Chuck teams up with Clark and Choco and rapidly spins them around, becoming an unstoppable force of nature
CC Technique: Friendly Battering Ram Attack
Using your friends is suuuuch a friendly attack! It's so friendly, that Clark and Choco repay him by beating him up and throwing him at their target, which winds up being a successful blow
CC Technique: Roly Polly Holy Moley
After Chuck was hit with a fat ray, he rolled over his opponent, flattening them
CC Technique: Sand Attack
CC Technique: Raging Gorilla Flames of Fury
Chuck rips off his skin to reveal he's actually a gorilla, and burns his opponent with his fire breath
CC Technique: Adoring Fans
Note that it isn't shown who specifically calls this CC Technique, but I'll go off a limb and say it's Chuck. Basically he surrounds his opponent with doting fans who never leave them alone. They're driven bonkers by their complete lack of personal space. It eventually leads to an explosion
CC Technique: Tower Bazazzle
He plays the drums to rattle the ears of those listening
CC Technique: Justice Knee
He's really going in for the Captain Falcon knee move
CC Technique: Brawl on Ice
Chuck takes a hockey player who he summoned way back in the first chapter to use as a hockey stick. He bashes his opponent's face in with his body
CC Technique: Pyramids of Canadian Takeover
Shit, the Illuminati is here to conquer Canada. Run for your lives!
CC Technique: Riot After Losing the Hockey Game
Chuck summons a horde of hockey fans who are riled up after their favorite team lost. His opponent is trampled during the chaos
CC Technique: Riot After Winning the Hockey Game
This is the only time Chuck has remotely performed a CC Technique that's similar to one he previously performed, and that was only when Charles pepped up the hockey team to perform better, leading to their victory. The fans trampled over him anyway.
CC Technique: Bagged Milk Slap
I'm surprised the bag didn't burst on impact
CC Technique: Halloween Pumpkin Bash
He dressed up like a zombie and tries to pummel his opponent with pumpkin hands
CC Technique: The Big Hope
Chuck tries to show Chris Cringle what the world would look like if Emperor Chidan was overthrown. It's peaceful and everyone is happy and free!
CC Technique: Treating Them Like a Human Rather Than a God
I dunno Chuck, using someone as a blunt weapon kinda goes against your message
Clark
CC Technique: Great Snake Fang
Starting off with something shockingly simple for a CC technique, Clark just lunges forward to bite his opponent with his sharp fangs
CC Technique: Burrowing Holes
Fancy a game of whack-a-snake?
Chaotic CC Technique
A Chaotic CC Technique uses the ultimate source of imagination to produce incredibly strong attacks, only used by masters of the CC Technique. Too bad they're never brought up again. This one specifically turns the surrounding area into a city block and shows Clark, disguised as a man named Mr. Johnson, leaving his love Cherelle to pursue a fast food career. The scene is so tragic that it causes severe damage to whoever witnesses it, making them cough up blood
CC Technique: Hydra Heads
Clark turns into a hydra. If one head is sliced off, two more grow back in its place. Clark can infinitely grow back more heads, which… becomes a big hassle once he has thousands of heads.
CC Technique: Wyvern of Destruction
What he considers his ultimate attack despite never being used afterwards, he turns into a fire-breathing wyvern
CC Technique: Super Fan of Merriment
He summons a pinwheel to blow at it. It's useless.
CC Technique: Handing a Soda
It's not a deadly soda or anything. It probably tastes pretty good.
CC Technique: March of the Fish Fry Frenzy
After Chuck turned himself into a pack of fish, Clark opened him to unleash a fishy frenzy
CC Technique: Coil Spring Launch
When Chuck was about to use Clark as a golfball, Clark said no to that and launched him away with a spring coil, making him roll throughout the golf course
CC Technique: Slicing Meat For the Masses
Clark spawns an entire conveyor belt of bologna to transport a golfball to a hole while chopping the meat. That's some dedication
CC Technique: I Got Flyers! Take a Flyer! Come to My Booksale!
Hundreds of flyers lift into the air from a cart Clark generated, sporadically flying around and cutting anything in their path
Clark opens his gaping maw to catch his opponent in his mouth. It's unknown if this would've led to him trying to eat Cheeseburgerman, but he immediately spit him out after remembering he's lactose intolerant
CC Technique: Haunting Jams
Clark plays a spooky guitar solo to scare the locals, along with conjuring a freaky shadow
CC Technique: Moose Rampage
Clark tramples over his target with a bona fide Canadian moose. Not sure what that small blue moose is doing there. I guess he's vibing
CC Technique: Easter Egg Paint Dunking
It's unclear what Clark was gonna do with the eggs. Probably chuck 'em at his target
CC Technique: Writing a Love Letter
Clark forces Chuck and Cheeseburgerman to write lots of fan letters to send to Carlos. They're all dumped on him as excerpts are read aloud
Shared Techniques
Hotel Combat Arts
Chuck and Clark are masters in the arts of hotel combat, a totally real combat style that takes five steps to master:
Step 1.) Serve quality food to the guests. Bt be wary, your guest could be a lion (the guests are lions, who then maul their target)
Step 2.) Provide a clean room for your guests… and lock the door from vandals (Chuck and Clark are the vandals, who break into the room to beat up their opponent)
Step 3.) Prepare fresh warm towels for guests, then fight various ninjas with your towel whipping powers (the ninjas then gang up on their opponent)
Step 4.) Shoot the walls with an AK until they're spotless (Chuck and his allies gain AKs to shoot at the walls)
Step 5.) Leave a mint on the pillow, which turns into a battle mech (for the grand finale, the battle mech fires a barrage of bullets at them)
CC Technique: Scrub the Walls 'Til They're Clean
When performed. Chuck and Clark gain sponges to scrub walls to eliminate the living shadows inhabiting them
CC Technique: Golfing on the Green
Disguised as gentlemen, they summons golf clubs to hit golfballs at their opponents
Collaborative CC Technique: Laser Party
Chuck and Clark host a laser party, jamming out and shooting lasers at their target (not FTL lasers, they explode on impact)
CC Technique: Chicken Centaur
After he and his friends turn into chicken centaurs, he commands them to shoot at his target with bows
CC Technique: We're Swimming in Cash
Somehow, this lets them turn an entire ocean into a sea of dollar bills
CC Technique: Amazing Photoshoot
Chuck and Clark flex how sexy they are as a mob of flash photographers take pictures of them, blinding their opponent
CC Technique: Last One In's a Rotten Egg
Chuck and Clark purposefully dive into a sea monster to defeat it from the inside, pummeling it before filling its maw with radishes
Collaborative CC Technique: Dreidels of Spinning Quickly
Chuck and Clark stuff their bodies into large dreidels to spin their way to their opponent
CC Technique: Twin Dragons of Peace and Harmony
To set the mood, Chuck and Clark turn day to night and manifest a small town. They roleplay as a wife and husband, and notice their dreidel eggs hatch into giant dragons. They ride their newborns into battle, torching everything in their path
CC Technique: Parasol of Rainy Time Whimsy
Chuck, Clark, and the rest of their gang put on raincoats and take out parasols. This causes the surrounding area to be drenched in a windy downpour. They use this to blow away Lady Candy's mists
CC Technique: Robot Laser Light Show
After turning into robots, they fire laser beams at their opponent
CC Technique: Professional Log Rolling Team
Chuck and Clark are ordered by Choco to chop down a tree while dressed as lumberjacks. After the tree is cut down, they're all subsequently rolled over by Cheeseburgerman's cheese wheel. Somehow the cut down tree is now stuck in the center of the cheese wheel, which all three are now on top of. They all log roll while performing Hopak dance moves. They all jump off as the cheese wheel heads to a cheesy lake
Collaborative CC Technique: Pummeling as a Team
The entire gang reenacts the Jojo kicking meme, stomping on their opponent as a team. They all beat them up so much that it morphs their body into something else. When they performed it on Cheeseburgerman, they pummeled him into a cheese dog
Combined CC Technique: Beat Up Again and Again and Again
Similar to the last collaborative CC Technique, only this time their punches turned Cheeseburgerman into a studburger
CC Technique: Cannon of True Might
Chuck and Clark form a massive tower of barrels, a huge laser cannon, and a tiny cannon on the top. The cannon launches them right as soon as the laser cannon fires, making the tower fall apart. Chuck headbutts his opponent while Clark wraps around Chuck, donning a punk getup. The three shoot into the sky until an explosion happens, creating fireworks with the initials "C C." They bring the hammer down back to ground as they turn into a two-headed anvil, groundpounding their opponent as it causes a massive explosion. This attack took "quite the toll," so Chuck suggested they don't use it often. I can see why, as it's one of their more creative techniques that has a lot of aspects to it.
Combined CC Technique: Snowball of Merriment
Wrapped up in each other to embrace the cold, Chuck, Clark, and Cheeseburgerman roll down a hill. They gather enough snow to encase them inside a giant snowball before reaching the ground. For some reason they turn into cat people when they emerge
CC Technique: Caroling a Diddy
Everyone sings a violent Christmas carol to bring the Santa equivalent Chris Cringle out of his house when he didn't respond
CC Technique: Pelted With Pebbles
After mining their way out of a coal boulder, the pebbles from it are pelted at their foe
CC Technique: Ghosts of Christmas Galore
A move where the gang act as the ghosts from A Christmas Carol. Clark represents the past, Carl is the present, Cheeseburgerman is the bad future, and Chuck offers a better future. one shows Chris Cringle a look into his life and mistakes to prove to him that the Carnage Empire is tyrannical and should be overthrown
Cazerrus
When Chuck and Clark clink their rings together, they fuse into an anime man named Cazerrus. Unlike either of the fusion's components, Cazerrus isn't random or goofy. Instead he acts like an archetypal confident and collected hero, albeit quirkier than the usual one. He has an obsession with justice, and a lot of his attacks center around delivering justice. Many of these moves are much zanier than a lot of Chuck and Clark's usual moves.
Arsenal
He uses them for climbing structures and tying people up
That's not a hammer.
Damn, he really is an anime protagonist
Memory Projection
With the Rollercoaster of Ultimate Judgment, he can gain access to and project memories of his foes (sometimes in doctored ways)
CC Techniques
CC Technique: Super Inner Tube of Justice
It's only a safety precaution for what's next.
CC Technique: Time to Ride the Waterslide
Cazerrus then rides his opponent down a massive waterslide he summons. Fish inhabit the waterslide that slap his ride as they move down the slide. It's unknown how big the waterslide actually is, but it eventually leads into a giant's mouth. Then the giant explodes.
CC Technique: Last One There's a Rotten Egg
After challenging the Czar to a climbing competition while climbing a rope that appeared out of nowhere, he summons the Rotten Eggs™ to beat him up while they climb.
CC Technique: Proper Punishment is Justice! Which is Me!!
A super effective justice slash!!
CC Technique: Justice Tower
After the Czar spawned a gigantic tower, Cazerrus just said "fuck it" and put an even bigger tower on top of his own. And his tower was MASSIVE
CC Technique: Ultimate Gate of Judgment
A direct parody of the Czar's previous CC Technique in which he created gates that revealed the ultimate punishment for each of Cazerrus' allies. While it's questionable if this shady fellow even counts as a gate, but he functions the same as his open cloak reveals the Czar's punishment. The inside of the cloak is a portal that leads to an entire realm where he's forced to ride the Rollercoaster of Ultimate Judgment. The rollercoaster is a trip down memory lane that forces him to face his greatest crimes. Viewing each memory, he's punish him in many hilarious ways. Being punched away by a giant egg dressed as his mom
Super Co-Op CC Technique: Ultimate Judge of Love
While Lady Cinderblock recently came back into the Czar's life thanks to Cazerrus, she was here to help him deliver the final punishment. Together, they summoned giant scales that fired a massive energy beam at the Czar. It was strong enough to completely topple a town-sized tower.
- Chuck saved Cylok city from a trio of goons from the Carnage Empire
- Chuck easily defeated a monstrous dog named Chomper
- Chuck turned a room inside a castle into an ice rink
- Chuck sued Chidan's lackey for letting two cups blow up, turning the entire room into a courtroom with Chuck disguised as both the judge and prosecutor, accusing him for crimes he never committed. Chuck squashed the jury under a cube after they called him guilty—since he was actually innocent.
- When a large bomb was thrown at Chuck when he was disguised as a judge, the bomb bounced off of him and then split in two, revealing some random person with fruit on their head shouting "guilty!" The bomb was supposed to explode, but Chuck altered the bomb to do… whatever that was instead
- Chuck consecutively beat Clark in cops & robbers, chess, and crazy eights
- Clark turned an open area in a forest into a city block when using Chaotic CC Technique
- When Chuck and Clark fought each other, Clark used CC Technique: Hydra Heads to grow two extra heads. Six new heads grew back after Chuck decapitated them all, then proceeded to spend hours chopping off Clark's heads. So many new heads grew until he became an unrecognizable mass
- Chuck is repeatedly shown being able to beat Clark with ease
- Both defeated one of the chameleon brothers with the arts of hotel combat
- They turned the inside of a box into a functioning battle station
- They defeated the rest of the chameleon five in a gauntlet of challenges
- Chuck can play the horns, drums, cans, bells, and tambourine all at once
- Chuck and Clark contested to see who's more careful by balancing on ladders holding eggs with spoons in their mouths
- After the Chameleon Czar turned a building into a ludicrously tall tower, Chuck and Clark instantly spawned an elevator that swiftly took them to the top floor
- Chuck and Clark defeated the Chameleon Czar as Cazerrus, reuniting him with his lost love Lady Cinderblock who was missing for twenty years
- They turned an ocean into a sea of money
- Chuck conquered and terrorized multiple alien planets during his fight with Commander Coconut
- They defeated Coconut's pet sea monster Cipilhious
- They beat Commander Coconut and helped him see that rules don't always have to be so restrictive
- Chuck has a bounty of $1,000,000…… Clark has a bounty of $4.93
- Chuck hit consecutive homeruns with a baseball bat, hitting every trash can thrown at him. The trash cans he hit fell into place to make a house
- They convinced Mercenary Chocolate Bar/Choco to stop hunting them down and helped him get revenge against his fallen master
- Chuck beat Clark and Choco in a race to crack their eggs into a frying pan at the top of the steps of Lady Candy's castle
- Chuck instantly broke Hearbreak Curse that petrified over 200 people in Lady Candy's possession. Lady Candy was the only one capable of removing the curse, yet Chuck was able to completely return them back to normal when he announced lunch was ready
- Chuck and Clark defeated the affluent Lady Candy, who's bewitched hundreds of victims into turning into stone, is the one that ordered the assassination of Choco's master, and is a powerhouse because she benchpresses daily. They also defeated her feline parasol Catasol
- While Chuck, Clark, and Choco experienced slowed down time, Chuck was able to maneuver Choco above him to deflect cannonballs coming their way
- Both defeated Clock, Click, and Cluck, the three guardians of Cheeseburgerman's mini golf course
- They defeated the head commander Cheeseburgerman, a living cheeseburger who BFR'd everyone into an entire dimension of cheese, and can absorb the souls of all of its denizens to create a massive spirit ball. They managed to convince him to break ties with Chidan and join them on their adventure
- They defeated the pacifist Canadian Charles, an exalted and pure hearted man who nearly beat them through nonviolent means
- Chuck set a river on fire
- They beat Chris Cringle, this world's Santa Claus
- There are exactly 490 people on Planet C that like Clark. Only 10 people like Chuck
- They defeated Carlos, a fan boy who creepily simps over Chidan's second in command Claire
- Chuck made a cameo in Burdrehnar's other webcomic OMG!!! Scars of War as a participant in a fighting tournament
Speed
Chuck
- Chuck's wagon is fast enough to keep up with a motorcycle
- When a chameleon grew foot-long claws to swipe at him, Chuck donned a manicurist disguise to file his nails so fast that they were diminished completely
- Chuck flew his ship into space, swiftly committing mass genocide across multiple planets of unknown location, before returning to Earth. This all took place during his fight with Commander Coconut. The speed of this is difficult to calculate because the locations of these planets is unknown, but being able to travel to multiple planets back to back should be MFTL. All this taking place in a very short timeframe makes the feat even more impressive
- Built a massive cannon in the timespan of when Clark was messing with Mercenary Chocolate Bar
- Ran through a duo of guards, causing them to disintegrate
- Scales to Lady Candy, who can deflect bullets
- Chuck turned the arena that he and his pals were on into a spaceship that immediately flew away from Planet C. The CC Technique was called Fly Me to the Moon, yet there is no moon in sight and the ship never lands anywhere
- Chuck instantly created an entire realm that exists between dimensions, and can instantly warp it into any location, Unclear if it’s dimensional or spacial but it should give him 470,198,000,000,000c attack speed (quint C MFTL+)
- Scales to Choco, who spun his clothesline so fast during slowed down time, that it managed to deflect cannonballs
- After Cheeseburgerman shot him with a fat ray, he rolled so fast that he instantly burned all the weight
- Fought Chris Cringle, the fastest man in the world. He's so fast that he can deflect pebbles with his fingertip, can make afterimages with his fist
Clark
Durability
Weaknesses
Chuck
- Chuck always acts silly and extra regardless of the situation. A lot of the time it helps him out in psyching out his opponents, but other times it can draw in negative attention and get him in serious hot water
- He can get into arguments with Clark and has beaten up and unfairly taken advantage of his teammates at times
- CC Techniques are fueled by creativity, so when he comes up with a technique that's particularly layered and original like CC Technique: Cannon of True Might, it can wear him out
Clark
- Clark has terrible sportsmanship. He will repeatedly attempt a rematch if he loses
- He frequently lets his arrogance get the better of him and can be really selfish
- Same weakness regarding the creative toll CC Techniques may have
Matchup Potential
Chuck vs Bobobo (Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo)
(thumbnail by Vibe Check)
Vibe Check
Bobobo's a character I've seen requested for Death Battle for quite a while, yet no one really agrees on whatever matchup he has. Either he's paired up with someone who has better matchup options, or just isn't that great to begin with. But when it comes to Chuck, I honestly feel like he's the perfect option for Bobobo.
Both are over-the-top muscular men who may be absolutely random, nonsensical, and odd in their antics, but they share the primary goal of freeing their world from an empire that seeks to control everything. In order to accomplish their goals, they go on a quest to defeat the main tyrant, as well as their entourage of leading commanders. Both rely on cartoonishly absurd techniques that border on toonforce where they occasionally shout the names of their attacks before performing them and confuse their opponent into submission. Both gain other companions on their journey, including previous foes they've bested.
While I haven't seen all of Bobobo, I've seen enough to know that C&C matches Bobobo's absurdist humor to a T. Both pull random powers out of their asses pretty much every episode, only Bobobo's are more consistent. His nosehair, Bo-bobo Theater, and the tiny people living in his nosehair are recurring elements throughout Bobobo, yet Chuck never uses the same ability twice. If he does, it has a distinct variation to it. Thus, Bobobo he's even more random and wacky than he is would be quite fun to see; especially when they drop their comedic acts to show that at their core, both are ambitious revolutionaries who desire peace and love for everyone.
The fight itself would mainly be the two trying to confuse the other with their utterly outlandish movesets. Of course the fight wouldn't JUST be gag city, as the two have a plethora of weapons and powers they use offensively. But really, this fight has absolutely hilarious potential. Have the fight pause to show a Bo-bobo Theater-like section that shows a melodramatic moment of Bobobo's past, while Chuck interferes with it in his own imaginative way which leads to him using a wacky CC Technique against him. The fight could start over a puerile disagreement despite getting along beforehand. Have both don various disguises and use abilities against each other that have nothing to do with their costumes. Have Bobobo completely corner Chuck, only for him to turn his very powers against him in the weirdest way possible.
With how bizarre and hilarious their fighting style is, the potential is off the charts for this one. From what I've heard, Bobobo should win, but it isn't as stompy as his other matchups.
Clark vs Don Patch (Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo)
(thumbnail by Vibe Check)
Vibe Check
Clark and Don Patch are the second allies (after Carl and Beauty) who join forces with the heroes after squaring off against them. They're both self-centered and happy-go-lucky non-humans who were originally gang leaders with underlings that are all clones of each other.
Whereas Chuck and Clark is all over the place while also having a lot of heart, Don vs Clark is all over the place with both characters constantly trying to one-up over the other. While Don can be just as random, if not more than Bobobo, he's a lot more competitive and confident than his pal. The same can be said for Clark, so the two could be a lot more aggressive when against each other. You could apply a lot of the ideas I said for Bobobo vs chuck to this one, except Don and Clark would make a competition out of it. I'd compare the appeal of this matchup to Donald vs Daffy, as it has no shortage of rowdy and contentious cartoonish insanity. Only here, the potential is even more random and absurd. I could see this being a lot more cutthroat than Chuck and Bobobo still maintaining a respect for each other, but it could result in a funnily sad ending where the winner mourns the loser. I could imagine the winner—likely Don—getting choked up at Clark's passing, and offers his lifeless body a piece of broccoli for his condolences.
But wait, if Chuck vs Bobobo can work… and Don vs Clark works too, then that can only mean…
Chuck & Clark vs Bobobo & Don Patch (Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo)
(thumbnail by Vibe Check)
Vibe Check
Yeah, it can be a duo match. I do think that it can work equally well as solo options, especially when Bobobo has other significant relationships among his teammates like Beauty and Jelly Jiggler/Tokoro. But from what I've seen, Don is Bobobo's most prolific teammate and matches Clark to a T. Thus, I can see it working. Double the insanity I described in the solo matchups, as the team dynamics add a lot more layers of hilarity. Add in all the crazy moves and skits both perform together, and this could be one of the funniest episodes on Death Battle!
NEXT TIME ON WCAB… whenever I feel like it